For the past four years, I’ve been part of a house church collective called NewSong, and I’ve deeply appreciated what our community prioritizes. We have twelve distinctives that shape our life together (https://newsong.life/distinctives/), but I want to share two in particular that have significantly impacted me.

First, we prioritize pleasing Jesus with lavish worship and praise first over immediately catering to the seeker. This sometimes makes people feel uncomfortable, but our priority isn’t to make people comfortable, but making Jesus our King comfortable, enthroned on the praises of His people (Psalm 22:3). Our belief is that a church united in its desire to exuberantly minister to Jesus first positions itself to soak in His presence, which always subsequently and supernaturally overflows into ministering to one another.

Second, and a point I want to explore further, we deeply value intergenerational worship. Specifically regarding children, we don’t just tolerate kids in our services; we prioritize their inclusion. As our distinctives page puts it:

“We strive to incorporate children into every aspect of Body life. This doesn’t mean lowering our standards to childlike maturity, but calling up our children into their giftings in age-appropriate ways. We do this in part by exposing them to authentic, mature worship instead of isolating them from our gatherings.”

This heart for unsegregated worship hit me deeply as I’ve been reading Nurturing Faith: A Practical Theology for Educating Christians by Fred P. Edie & Mark A. Lamport. In chapter 14, “Nurturing Intergenerational Faith through Congregations,” these authors offer poignant and valuable insights into nurturing the next generation of Christ followers, which I am so excited to share with you!

So here’s the problem, and allow me to make a sweeping generalization: the current prevailing church model often segregates children from adults through Sunday School. While well-intentioned, Edie & Lamport argue that a consequence of this traditional Sunday School model “reinforces generational segregation which contributes to the communal fragmentation of the church today.” [316]

Here’s a question for ya: why have we, as the broader church, largely separated our kids from the adults during worship? Think about it… when did that start? Most likely, it boils down to convenience. We might think, “Ah! They won’t understand anyway,” or “Sunday School will help them understand better,” or even subconsciously, “Phew! A few moments of daycare!” While this is also crude generalization, it highlights how convenience has driven our structural decision to separate the kids from the adults. 

And where does this drive for convenience often stem from in our culture? Consumerism. Edie & Lamport point out that “Generational segregation is itself a partly fictional construct designed to sell more products targeted to specific ‘needs’ of children, tweens, teens, young adults, and so on.” [316] This brings me right back to NewSong’s first distinctive. Seeker-friendly approaches, while aiming to welcome, can sometimes inadvertently throttle authentic praise directed solely at Jesus when they prioritize comfort and tailored experiences above all else. Consumerism kills church effectiveness when it dictates our structure and priorities.This consumerist mindset can also subtly segregate the body of Christ to ensure more people feel happy and comfortable, as we naturally drift towards similarity rather than challenging everyone to be a contributing part of a unified whole.

Furthermore, the authors highlight an insightful point about learning: “Schooling tends to be more about ‘learning about’ than ‘living it out’” [315]. They also reference Albert Bandura’s social learning theory, which proposes that “learning does not always proceed by direct transmission of knowledge or personal experimentation. Much learning also comes through ‘observation and modeling.’” [317]

If we truly want our children to grow up rooted in faith, simply teaching them about God in a separate classroom isn’t sufficient. They need to be included in our corporate worship services to observe and model mature faith being lived out by the adults around them. They need to see authentic praise, hear earnest prayer, and witness lives surrendered to Jesus in community. 

You may ask, “well how can we incorporate kids without ‘dumbing down’ the service?” Just like we don’t cater our services to the seeker first, we also don’t cater to our children above lavishly worshiping Jesus. Our children will learn by observation of our worship directed to Jesus. When the time comes to minister to each other, Edie & Lamport suggest incorporating practices like “Godly Play” into services. Whether it’s creatively and theatrically re-enacting biblical stories, singing together joyfully, or asking fun questions, this kind of “Godly play” allows children to learn not just by instruction, but by observation and participation in the vibrant life of faith. And perhaps, it helps us adults shed some of our seriousness and rediscover the joy of childlike faith!

Integrating children into our worship isn’t just about their learning; it’s about recognizing them as full members of the Body right now, not just future members. At NewSong, we often say, “there is no Jr. Holy Spirit,” suggesting that the same Holy Spirit who dwells in adults dwells in children, and therefore they have something to offer as well. Sure, it takes more intentionality, more discipline, even corralling at times! But including children in worship enriches the entire community and aligns with a vision of the church as a family where every member, regardless of age, contributes to the corporate expression of faith and worship.